FreshCaffeine

Today I went to the mall. Doesn't sound so important to you I know, but for me it's a big deal. Normally I can't handle the crowds and the motion around me in large places like the outlet mall. Today however, I got in my car and just drove there, without any fear. I got my hair done and it looks great! I plan on going back in a couple of weeks to get it dyed by my new stylist, his name is Donnie.

Donnie is an interesting fellow. He is from L.A. and came here to get away from the earthquakes. When I first saw him I was a little shocked, he's not the kind of guy you see working in a haircuttery. He had black and blue hair spiked up on his head and piercings everywhere you can put a hole in your head. Donnie did a great job though, fixing a mistake that had my hair in a rubber band for the last 3 months.

Back to my story though. I have had a hard time getting out of the house for years now. Agoraphobia is what they call it. A fear of people, crowded places, open spaces, being out alone and stuff like that. It started very slowly with me just having problems with standing in line at the grocery store than it progressed into not wanting to leave the house at all by myself. This went on for a couple of years, maybe three.

I started seeing a doctor in January of 2003 and at first I was diagnosed with A.D.D and P.T.S.D. for which I was given several drugs that didn't work to make me feel any better. I stopped seeing that psychiatrist when he force me to have an appointment with him when I said that I had no insurance and when I canceled the day before he said he was still going to charge me.

Again I went into another topic, I do that alot this late a night. With the new medicine that I am taking I think that I am finally getting to the right doses that I need. I still have to make an appointment to see a neurologist about the twitches that I have been having for so long. It can't be an effect of the medicine because they were here long before the medication was. I hope that having another EEG done will point out whatever the problem is and give the doctors a way to fix it.

In addition to the events that I have mentioned I am still feeling like the new Lamictal has given me more energy than the Topamax that I had been taking. I am back to making lists of chores that need to be done everyday and crossing off at least 75% of them. Which is better than the 10% in the past. I only hope that this will keep up and that with an increase in the medicine I will get even better and more enthusiastic about what I have to do everyday. It might actually lead to me quitting smoking if I can find more fulfilment in other things. Right now smoking fills in all the empty time that I have in my day.

I would like to get to a point in my life where I remember to send out the christmas and birthday cards on time, have the kids ready for school on time everyday without having to search for missing papers and books or clothes. I would like to write something important and meaningful everyday. I would enjoy spending time with my kids without feeling frustrated by noises and messes. I would like to be the kind of person that can keep the house clean from top to bottom everyday, without any trouble. I could just be the influence of TV moms (minus Peg Bundy) that makes me feel like it is normal to be this way, but I really feel like I have to do these things to be a normal mom. Not to mention the fact that my 9 year old complains that I don't spend enouph time with her. I guess I need to work on that too.

Once the doses on my medications are settled I plan to work on a lot of things, the above mentioned ones to begin with. I really want to work on the problems that I have with dealing with the kids better. I would like to play more games with them and take them more places, I just haven't had the energy or the patience for a couple of years now, since the medicine took my mania away. I just have to find a better way to get my energy back, the caffeine doesn't even help.

I guess I will have to write more later about what is going to happen with all of these things. Tonight it is getting late and I have to try to get some sleep so that I can wake up early in the morning.

Posted by Caffeine at 09:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

After looking over the latest polls I see that there is much more work to be done. First it is important to know where the swing states are, and if you are in one. However, just because your not in one doesn't mean you don't have to get out and vote on November 2nd. We all have a responsibility to vote, to ourselves and our families. It's not too late in most states to register to vote.

It is important to know who the the candidates are in your area. Following that it would be important to see how the elections can effect the states that you live in. For instance the See where G. Bush and J. Kerry stand on Guns in America. While your at it why not read what John Kerry and George Bush have to had to say on all the topics.

Don't forget to watch the debates!

Posted by Caffeine at 10:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (21)

I went to see my doctor yesterday. That was an interesting event all in itself. When I first showed up for my appointment, which was scheduled for 10:30 am, my doctor was on her way out the door. I stopped her and asked about my appointment and she adamantly said that I did not have an appointment for 10:30. She then went into a rant about how I had been calling her for days an changing appointments on her, which was just not true. I didn't know what to say. She actually said "there is really something wrong with your head" and "your just not thinking straight". It took me about 10 minutes of arguing to finally get her to realize that I wasn't the person she thought I was. Then she tells me she is sorry but that she made arrangements for her daughter to be somewhere at during my appointment time and she would have to see me later. So, I had to come back at 6 pm.

When I finally made it back to my appointment later in the evening I was able to talk to my doctor about a lot of the things that have happened to me in the last month. The troubles that I have had with friends and with my mother. Then I went into the problems that I have been having with these "seizures" that I have been having for years. That is when she decided to change my medications. Now I am taking 900mg of Trileptal, 1mg of Clonazepam, 10mg of Zyprexa, 25mg of Topamax (which is being reduced to none in 2 weeks) and 50mg of the new Lamictal.

The new pills are also helpful in giving me more energy. Already today I feel like I can do more than I did yesterday. The Trileptal seemed to be causing most of the problem with me feeling like I can't get out of bed most days. I hope that the change in meds will really help all of that. I guess I will just have to wait and see.

Posted by Caffeine at 04:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Where to begin? First find out the deadline for registering to vote in your state. Then Register using an online service. After that you will need to find out where to go to vote. And I wouldn't leave you out on a limb without telling you how to find the who the candidates are and who you should be voting for. Maybe a little bit about the presidential hopefuls John Kerry and George W. Bush as well and where they stand on certain issues. You might also want to know the difference between a Democrat and a republican.

I will write more later.

Posted by Caffeine at 09:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I have an appointment to see my psychiatrist in the morning. I'm not sure what I am going to talk to her about. Not that I don't have anything to say but I just don't know where to begin. I haven't seen her in a month and a lot has happened for me since then. In addition there are a few issues that I would like to discuss with her and see if I need a change in my medications, even though she is usually against that.

I know that she is going to be really upset that I was talking to my mother, she knows how much that upsets me and makes me nervous. I normally can't sleep for days after I have talked to her. It's something about the past and all that has happened between us that I can't get the shit out of my head when she turns up. Not to mention she is usually spouting some kind of lunacy when she does show her face (or call). I feel like I can't even tell my shrink that I talked to her or I will get in trouble or something.

Some other things that I would like to bring up with my doctor is the matter of my inability to do the things I used to love to do before. I think it has a lot to do with the medication that I am on. I have a feeling that I know what she will say though "It's a trade off, your sanity for a few less happy times". Instead of having the "Highs" that I used to get with mania and getting excited about new projects and artwork I spend most of my time lying in bed watching TV. I really want that stuff back. I don't like being "normal". It's not like I don't get depressed anymore. I just don't get as happy anymore either. I guess what I am saying is that I don't think that I am on the right drugs yet. I need something that will give me the energy that I used to have with mania, at least some of it.

I suppose there is no miracle drugs out there yet, but I would like to find something better, but how do I tell my doctor that?

In addition to the problem with medications I want to talk to her about the things that I have been seeing and feeling. I see things that aren't there sometimes: cats, babies, bugs, you name it. I also have this seizure (best way to describe it) that happens when I get stressed out sometimes. I have learned to know when it is going to happen, I can feel it in my spine sometimes days before it happens. I don't know the cause of it, but it has been happening to me for a very long time and I would like for it to stop because it hurts sometimes.

I guess I should write all of this down so that I remember it when I see her. I always forget this stuff when I see her because she wants to talk about other stuff. I just get distracted by having to talk about what has happed this week or events that I forget about the feelings that go along with it. Forgetfulness is a big problem of mine and probably one of the reasons I was diagnosed with A.D.D. last year.

I guess that is all for tonight. I have to wake up early to get to my appointment. It's nice to have a doctor who will see you on a Saturday. Good night for now.

Posted by Caffeine at 11:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

All of my best stories start this way and this one is the best thus far. I get this call around 11 am and it's my mom, she begins by telling me this story about a mystery package that arrived on the doorstep to her niece's boyfriends apartment. She described the scene, they both saw the odd looking FedEx truck pull up outside his apartment and drop off a small package. The package was addressed to someone unknown to them, but they wondered if it was a screen name that my mother had used on-line or someone my cousin's boyfriend was seeing on the side. So, they open the box.

When I come into the picture is when my mother calls to ask me what could possibly be in the box. It was described to me over the phone as a small package filled with foam insulation and then a bag of car oil inside that a block of white powder. I really couldn't tell if it was real or just an illusion of her schizophrenia.

However, I told her that I was pretty darn sure that if it were real she had found cocaine. I talked to her for about an hour, with her giving me details about the boyfriend coming to the steps (but not going in the house) to look for the package. She told me about how he rents out this apartment but doesn't actually live there and has only been coming by there today. That he has a car that he convinced my cousin to put in her name, but doesn't let her drive and lots of other odd things. I told her I was sure it had to be something like cocaine or heroine if he keeps coming back to check the steps for it and that she had to call the police.

I don't think that she believed me when I told her that, but she called the police anyway. When they came out I got a chance to speak with the officer and got a few details: there was approximately 2 kilos of uncut cocaine in the box and they were going to perform a sting on the house that my cousin's boyfriend lived in, from the inside.

They took the keys and went into the house 4 doors down from my mother and waited, it wasn't long before he came back for the package (which they had resealed and put back on the stoop). At that point the police came out from all sides (I'm hearing over the phone) and had him and two friends down on the ground and in handcuffs.

Now, with all of the drama over the only thing to worry about is whether or not the wrong people will find out that she is the one who called the police. I don't think there is much to worry about though, with that much cocaine I can't imagine him getting out of jail any time soon.

After handing over at least a half a million in drugs to the police I asked what she was going to do and she replied "go to the hospital and get some drugs". Her anxiety was through the roof and paranoia was setting in hard.

So, that was most of my day. Please excuse the lack of other news I have had too much excitement for one day.

Posted by Caffeine at 05:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I don't have much to say tonight. I am sitting comfy in my bed, watching the season finales of both Big Brother 5 and The Amazing Race. I think I am happy with the winners of both of them. Other then that, I am just feeling a little bored. It's late at night and everyone in the house is asleep, so I can't do much but watch TV and type. It gets kind of lonely late at night like this. Which is why I end up writing so much late at night. Tonight though I think I will just write this and try to get some sleep.

Posted by Caffeine at 11:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So, whilst I have nothing better to do, I thought I would put together a few links that I thought I would share with the rest of you. Some of it is political and some is just plain nonsense, but it is giving me something to do and you something to read.

There is a great article on PunkVoter about the Bush Connection to Clear Channel. There are also a few articles that I found interesting about: How the Iraq War Helps Terrorists, Bush misleads on home security effort and Center Publishes Secret Draft of ?Patriot II? Legislation. And I can't forget, this mashup of imagine and walk on the wild side, george bush on vocals.

I hope that gives you something to do for awhile. I am out of links for today.

Posted by Caffeine at 11:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The great people at Designed by monkeys is offering to donate a potion of their proceeds of several great T-shirts and pins to Move On PAC.

For the first hundred shirts sold, we'll donate one dollar a piece, for the second hundred, two dollars, and for every shirt after that we'll give five dollars to the good folks over at MoveOn. For each Che Moore button we'll donate fifty cents - it doesn't seem like much, but with everyone visiting the site it could add up quick.

Posted by Caffeine at 10:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I have been dealing with a lot of stress of late and this weekend and the past few days have been a bit a a break for me. I don't know that this means that this means that I am actually back to writing a daily blog post but I thought tonight was a good night to post a little update.

I have been spending a lot of my time trying to get things together with my family life, the kids are back to school and there is much commotion around the house. Both of the kids have already gotten suck this year and have had to miss a day of school.

As for me, I had that awful bought with bursitis that didn't want to go away. It was lovely to spend a few days on pain meds though. Now, it seems to have passed. I have some other pains in my hands and legs, I wonder if they are caused by the change in weather though. For the most part I am feeing better.

I am on my last pack of regular cigarettes. After these I will start smoking the nicotine free cigarettes again. Another attempt to quit smoking. I have all of the tools that I need this time, the cigarettes, the patches, the gum and all the candy you can imagine. I'm still a little nervous. I guess I just have to go for it this time. It's about time I suppose.

Besides spending time doing the family thing I have been playing a few games. Fable has been taking up this weekend. I like to watch my husband play games like this. Sims 2 also came out, and I am trying to lean to play that myself.

As I said on my other blog, I really needed a break from the real world and all of the problems that are going on in it. I take things too much too heart and it effects me too much. Without a little time off I would probably loose my mind and go insane because of what is happening around me. It's a good thing I have other things to do right now.

Posted by Caffeine at 09:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I found this article that was written by John Tierney of the New York Times (you may have to register to read it). Some of the main things that I want to point out are:

ANOTHER gender gap has appeared, this time on a poll testing men's and women's knowledge of issues in the presidential campaign. On the eight-question quiz administered to 1,845 adults, men were more likely on every question to give the right answer.

The biggest gender gap was on the question asking which candidate supported moving American troops from Europe and South Korea to other places. Sixty percent of the men correctly identified President Bush, versus 43 percent of the women. There were also double-digit gaps on questions about Social Security and taxes.

Even odder, perhaps, was the gender gap on a question in the Times poll asking whether Saddam Hussein was personally involved in the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. Twenty-nine percent of men said he was, versus 47 percent women, putting them 18 points ahead - or maybe that should be considered behind.

The explanation of this given by the reporter is that men like to watch sports and therefore are more interested in this election as apposed to others that women might be more tuned into. Whatever the reason something has to be done here.

If you go around testing people to see if they know how to spell "supercalafragalisticexpialidocious" and they get it wrong, you would give them the correct spelling so they wouldn't get it wrong later in life. Right? So where is the part where they informed the misinformed about the current affairs of the country? And how do we reach these people who still believe that Saddam Hussein was personally involved in the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks?

It's so exhausting to be me.

Posted by Caffeine at 06:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I must apologize that I haven't written anything in days. The cause of this has a lot to do with the recent releases of two different games The Sims 2 (PC) and Fable (Xbox). Before this I was just so sick of what I was reading in the news that I was looking for something to kill off some brain cells. Luckily I don't drink or do drugs (just the ones the doctor gives me). Instead, I found these games which have helped me to take a breather from thinking about the state of the nation, and all of the tragic affairs going on in it. I really suggest this type of break for anyone who has been dealing with "Bushitis". Just don't let it last too long, we need people to keep passing on the information that the real news hides on back pages or doesn't report at all. Keep up the good work, but don't lose your sanity.

Posted by Caffeine at 01:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

People are saying so and that's all that matters right? (Skippy) I feel so enormously big-headed right now. Soon it will fade, but I will enjoy it while it lasts.

Posted by Caffeine at 11:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

It looks like John Lydon ? a.k.a. Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols ? could be getting ready to die.

The snarling Pistols frontman has found his band among the 15 finalists for enshrinement in the 2005 class of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, an institution Lydon once declared to be a "place where old rockers go to die."

"The Rock and Roll Hall of Shame, that's what it ought to be," Lydon complained in 2003, after the Sex Pistols were denied entry for the second year in a row ? although contemporaries the Ramones and the Clash received nods. "[That] title was clearly earned."

Posted by Caffeine at 10:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

North Carolina cops are searching for a guy who successfully passed a $200 bill bearing George W. Bush's portrait and a drawing of the White House complete with lawn signs reading "We like ice cream" and "USA deserves a tax cut." The phony Bush bill was presented to a cashier at a Food Lion in Roanoke Rapids on September 6 by an unidentified male who was seeking to pay for $150 in groceries. Remarkably, the cashier accepted the counterfeit note and gave the man $50 change. In a separate incident involving a different perp, Roanoke Rapids cops Tuesday arrested Michael Harris, 24, for attempting last month to pass an identical $200 Bush bill at a convenience store.

Posted by Caffeine at 06:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Florida state law sets a Sept. 1 deadline for the governor to certify a list of presidential electors for each party's candidates.

But Sept. 1 was also the day President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney were being nominated at their party' convention in New York. Consequently, some of their paperwork did not arrive at state elections headquarters until Sept. 2, a day after Gov. Jeb Bush certified the candidates for president.

(Link)

Posted by Caffeine at 05:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I have been thinking about trying to do some more things with this site beside the obvious political information that no one seems to care about but me. I think I would like to also add a section about entertainment and Judaical issues. I would like to release some of the pressure off of this site and I think that adding a few more topics can do that. I also have a few essays about education, gun rights, and abortion rights that I would like to post about soon.

What I really need to do is spend more time writing posts before I put them up. I usually just write them late at night just before I go to bed, meaning I don't have the time to write out something good. I think from now on I will spend time during the day researching and typing up issues. Then at night I will proofread and post. We will see how that goes.

Posted by Caffeine at 11:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Yet again I had to go see the doctor. I have been having this pain in my left shoulder since I woke up 2 days ago and it was really killing me. So, after finishing off the Tylenol #3 that I had, I decided to call the doctor. I was at a lose as to what the problem could be. After the doctor sent me off to fill a prescription for Ultracet and an x-ray it turns out I have something called bursitis.

Bursitis is inflammation or irritation of a bursa. Bursae (the pleural of bursa) are small sacs located between moving structures such as bones, muscles, skin and tendons. The bursa acts as a cushion to allow smooth gliding between these structures.

Since both tendons and bursae are located near joints, inflammation in these soft tissues will often be perceived by patients as joint pain and mistaken for arthritis. Symptoms of bursitis and tendonitis are similar: pain and stiffness aggravated by movement. Pain may be prominent at night or after use. Almost any tendon or bursa in the body can be affected, but those located around a joint are affected most often. Tendonitis and bursitis are usually temporary conditions, but may become recurrent or chronic problems. Unlike arthritis, they do not cause deformity, but can cause significant pain and restrain motion.

In the morning though I will be taking the kids to 6 Flags, I only hope that I can be useful and enjoy the day. I don't know who's idea it was to have a government picnic on September 11th. I imagine they had good thoughts in mind when they chose the date, but they should have given it a little more thought in my opinion.

I have to get up early in the morning, so I should really get to bed. I don't really have a lot to say anyway, the pills have made me very loopy. I wonder what tomorrow will bring? Less pain I hope.

Posted by Caffeine at 10:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

What do you think about the Presidential candidates? In this poll, you will be asked about your opinions of the candidates, their policies, campaigns, and some current issues including the state of the economy, terrorism, and the war in Iraq.

PollingPoint is a non-partisan polling organization based in Palo Alto, California. We are not advocates of any particular policy or position. Your answers will be kept confidential and will be used only for measuring public opinion. Survey research is our only business, so we will never try to sell you anything.

When you complete the poll, you can enter a drawing to win a new Apple iPod Mini music player, in the color of your choice!

Posted by Caffeine at 07:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I don't want to write too much tonight, my shoulder is killing me and it hurts to type. I stayed in bed all say today because of it and I am hoping that in the morning the pain will go away or I will have to go see the doctor about it. I guess that is all I really have to say for tonight.

Posted by Caffeine at 10:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The national ban on semi-automatic assault weapons, singed into law by President Clinton in 1994, is set to expire Monday unless Congress acts to extend the ban. The ban includes 19 types of weapons, as well as ammunition clips holding more than 10 rounds.

For the last 10 years this ban has been seen as a success by supporters, with gun related murder rates down dramatical from the last decade. The NRA of course has lobbied against the ban, while it remains popular with the public. There was a poll conducted and released on Monday that shows two-thirds of Americans want the ban extended, even 57 percent of those with guns in their homes.

The Senate did show some support for extending the ban back in March, when it voted to do so as an amendment to a bill preventing gun manufacturers from liability. But the NRA then withdrew its support for the measure, the liability bill died, and the Senate has not revived the issue. The House has avoided the subject, with Dennis Hastert saying he?s not inclined to schedule a vote until the Senate has acted.

Then there?s George Bush. As a presidential candidate in 2000, he promised to extend the weapons ban, and a White House spokesperson told the Washington Post Tuesday that the president still "supports the reauthorization of the current ban." But that?s easy to say with the knowledge that Congress won?t be sending a reauthorization to your desk, and Bush has refrained from pushing the measure along.

The problem is, the National Rifle Association wants assault weapons on our streets. Even if Bush is sincere in wanting to extend the ban, the NRA has threatened to withdraw its support for him. Richard Feldman, a lobbyist for gun manufacturers, told the San Francisco Chronicle it would be "close to his political death" if Bush signed an extension before the election, as the NRA and its fellow travelers would stay away from the polls. And the NRA has withheld its endorsement so far, waiting to make sure Bush plays ball. Feldman said that doesn't?t preclude future action by Bush:"Come January, it's a different story. Then, if he's re-elected, he'd be forced to sign the bill, if he gets a clean one that just contains an extension of the existing law."

But by that time, there will be plenty of new semi-automatic weapons on the street, as gun enthusiasts are already gearing up for the expiration. As the Post reports, major gun manufacturers are planning to bring back now-banned models, and are offering to sell 15-round magazines starting Sept. 14.

Posted by Caffeine at 01:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I don't have a lot of time because I should be trying to go to sleep right now, but I am feeling a little high from the meds and I can't seem to stop typing. I really don't have much to say. I have had a very stressful 2 weeks and I hope that when I wake in the morning all will be better. I can only wish for things like that at this point. I have an appointment with my doctor but not for a couple of weeks, I hope that everything is better by then.

I don't know the cause of all this trouble but I know there are many things that have added to the problem and have slowly made things worse for me. I just want the morning to come and make the past disappear, but we all know that life doesn't work like that. Once things have been done you can't undo them and you can't go back in time with the knowledge that you know now. If only.

It is 11:30 at night and I have to be awake at 6 in the morning to get the kids ready for school. I am having a lot of trouble with this. I keep thinking that I was not meant to be a parent. But I was told that that is a sign of a good parent. I am easily stressed out by the simple things.

I keep meaning to quit smoking, I really mean to try, but something inside me just won't let go. I feel like I won't be able to handle the stress of life without a cigarette. I have been a smoker for 14 years of my life. A heavy smoker. I recently went to the doctor and was told that I have the lungs of a 86 year old. That should be enough to make me quit right? I still can't seem to do it. I have managed to slow down my smoking. I was smoking about 2 packs a day, in the last few days I have only been smoking about 8 - 10 a day, as long as I am not up past 10. This also means having a lot of stuff to do during the day. Being home alone with the kids most of the time I don't have very much to do, so I have taken on potty training.

Potty training a 4 year old with autism is not as easy as it sounds. I actually plan to write an article about it once I complete the task. I hope to find some ingenious ways to train him that will help others that are having the similar problems that we are. So far I haven't found anything that really works well enough, except putting him on the potty every 30 minutes in the hopes that he goes. The one major hurdle is that he can't tell us when he has to go, so we have to keep putting him on. this means a lot of accidents. A lot of cleaning up after him. It can be very tiering. The end product will be very rewarding though.

It is now 12. I guess I don't type very fast. Or I'm not thinking very fast tonight, the pills can't be helping. The one thing about them is that they make it easier for me to express myself. I just type as the words come to my head and I don't worry about what I am saying too much. However, I think I should really try to go to sleep. I have to get up really early in the morning. The movie I have been watching is almost over and that means that I don't have much time before I should go to sleep.

I know that there is so much more that I want to say about what has happened to me over the last few weeks, I just still can't bare to talk about it. I need to see my doctor again first. I just have so much to say.

I am looking forward to next week because I will get to go shopping for some new clothes, not that I don't have a lot now, but I found a great store that I love and they are having a sale. I think that will cheer me up quite a bit. I really like shopping now. Since my husband got a new job and is making more money, we have more money to spend, you would think we would be saving more but no, we just spend it. I wish that we could learn how to save money, but we both came from poor families and every time we get money we think of how we cqn spend it, all of it. It makes holidays difficult too because we buy all the things we want as soon as they some out, and when holidays come we have nothing to buy each other.

Good night now.

Posted by Caffeine at 12:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I thought that I would post a few links to some interesting stuff in the absence of some real content. The first link is to a video by my favorite punk/anti-bush band NoFX for The Idiot Son Of An Asshole. It's really worth a listen, and even a download from i-tunes. I am still looking for more music though. I am kinda stuck in the punk, late 80's early 90's music. I refuse to listen to the radio anymore. But asking for music advice leads to losing friends, sadly. So, I will do my own looking thanks.

In addition, today marks a milestone in the war in Iraq, 1000 US soldiers have died, that's one third as many that died in the 9/11 tragedy itself. How are we "protecting" American lives if we just keep throwing them away? That's just my opinion though, and who am I?

Americans can hold honorably different views about what a young John Kerry, veteran of Vietnam, told the Senate Foreign Relations Committee in 1971 about the war. But those views should be based on what Kerry actually said, not on distorted versions of his testimony being peddled by others, including the ironically named Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.

President Bush ranked in the middle of his Air National Guard flight class and flew 336 hours in a fighter jet before letting his pilot status lapse and missing a key readiness drill in 1972, according to his flight records belatedly uncovered Tuesday under the Freedom of Information Act.

Welfare grants starve: The federal government funds welfare with so-called block grants to states, which have not been raised since 1996 and provide no adjustment for inflation. Even though programs are getting pinched, no increase is on the horizon.

Posted by Caffeine at 11:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I subscribe to the Micheal Moore mailing list and I received an email yesterday that I thought I would share with the rest of you. Mostly because I have nothing else to write about today.

Dear Mr. Bush,

I know you and I have had our differences in the past, and I realize I am the one who started this whole mess about "who did what" during Vietnam when I brought up that "deserter" nonsense back in January. But I have to hand it to you on what you have uncovered about John Kerry and his record in Vietnam. Kerry has tried to pass himself off as a war hero, but thanks to you and your friends, we now know the truth.

First of all, thank you for pointing out to all of us that Mr. Kerry was never struck by a BULLET. It was only SHRAPNEL that entered his body! I did not know that! Hell, what's the big deal about a bunch of large, sharp, metal shards ripping open your flesh? That happens to all of us! In my opinion, if you want a purple heart, you'd better be hit with a bullet -- with your name on it!

Secondly, thank you for sending Bob Dole out there and letting us know that Mr. Kerry, though wounded three times, actually "never spilled blood." When you are in the debates with Kerry, turn to him and say, "Dammit, Mr. Kerry, next time you want a purple heart, you better spill some American red blood! And I don't mean a few specks like those on O.J.'s socks -- we want to see a good pint or two of blood for each medal. In fact, I would have preferred that you had bled profusely, a big geyser of blood spewing out of your neck or something!" Then throw this one at him: "Senator Kerry, over 58,000 brave Americans gave their lives in Vietnam -- but YOU didn't. You only got WOUNDED! What do you have to say for yourself???" Lay that one on him and he won't know what to do.

And thanks, also, Mr. Bush, for exposing the fact that Mr. Kerry might have actually WOUNDED HIMSELF in order to get those shiny medals. Of course he did! How could the Viet Cong have hit him -- he was on a SWIFT boat ! He was going too fast to be hit by enemy fire. He tried to blow himself up three different times just so he could go home and run for president someday. It's all so easy to see, now, what he was up to.

What would we do without you, Mr. Bush? Criticize you as we might, when it comes to pointing out other men's military records, there is no one who can touch your prowess. In 2000, you let out the rumor that your opponent John McCain might be "nuts" from the 5 years he spent in a POW camp. Then, in the 2002 elections, your team compared triple-amputee Sen. Max Cleland to Osama bin Laden, and that cost him the election. And now you are having the same impact on war hero John Kerry. Since you (oops, I mean "The Swift Boat Veterans for Truth!") started running those ads, Kerry's polls numbers have dropped (with veterans, he has lost 18 points in the last few weeks).

Some people have said "Who are you, Mr. Bush, to attack these brave men considering you yourself have never seen combat -- in fact, you actively sought to avoid it." What your critics fail to understand is that even though your dad got you into a unit that would never be sent to Vietnam -- and even though you didn't show up for Guard duty for at least a year -- at least you were still IN FAVOR of the Vietnam War! Cowards like Clinton felt it was more important to be consistent (he opposed the war, thus he refused to go) than to be patriotic and two-faced.

The reason that I think you know so much about other men's war wounds is because, during your time you in the Texas Air National Guard, you suffered so many of them yourself. Consider the paper cut you received on September 22, 1972, while stationed in Alabama, working on a Senate campaign for your dad's friend (when you were supposed to be on the Guard base). A campaign brochure appeared from nowhere, ambushing your right index finger, and blood trickled out onto your brand new argyle sweater.

Then there was the incident with the Crazy Glue when your fraternity brothers visited you one weekend at the base and glued your lips together while you were "passed out." Though initially considered "friendly fire," it was later ruled that you suffered severe post traumatic stress disorder from the assault and required certain medicinal attention -- which, it seems, was provided by those same fraternity brethren.

But nothing matched your heroism when, on July 2, 1969, you sustained a massive head injury when enemy combatants from another Guard unit dropped a keg of Coors on your head during a reconnaissance mission at a nearby all-girls college. Fortunately, the cool, smooth fluids that poured out of the keg were exactly what was needed to revive you.

That you never got a purple heart for any of these incidents is a shame. I can fully appreciate your anger at Senator Kerry for the three he received. I mean, Kerry was a man of privilege, he could have gotten out just like you. Instead, he thinks he's going to gain points with the American people bragging about how he was getting shot at every day in the Mekong Delta. Ha! Is that the best he can do? Hell, I hear gunfire every night outside my apartment window! If he thinks he is going to impress anyone with the fact that he volunteered to go when he could have spent the Vietnam years on the family yacht, he should think again. That only shows how stupid he was! True-blue Americans want a president who knows how to pull strings and work the system and get away with doing as little work as possible!

So, to make it up to you, I have written some new ads you can use on TV. People will soon tire of the swift boat veterans and you are going to need some fresh, punchier material. Feel free to use any of these:

ANNOUNCER: "When the bullets were flying all around him in Vietnam, what did John Kerry do? He said he leaned over the boat and 'pulled a man out of the river.' But, as we all know, men don't live in the river -- fish do. John Kerry knows how to tell a big fish tale. What he won't tell you is that when the enemy was shooting at him, he ducked. Do you want a president who will duck? Vote Bush."

ANNOUNCER: "Mr. Kerry's biggest supporter, Sen. Max Cleland, claims to have lost two legs and an arm in Vietnam. But he still has one arm! How did that happen? One word: Cowardice. When duty called, he was unwilling to give his last limb. Is that the type of selfishness you want hanging out in the White House? We think not. Vote for the man who would be willing to give America his right frontal lobe. Vote Bush."

Hope these help, Mr. Bush. And remember, when the American death toll in Iraq hits 1,000 during the Republican convention, be sure to question whether those who died really did indeed "die" -- or were they just trying to get their face on CNN's nightly tribute to fallen heroes? The sixteen who've died so far this week were probably working hand in hand with the Kerry campaign to ruin your good time in New York. Stay consistent, sir, and always, ALWAYS question the veracity of anyone who risks their life for this country. It's the least they deserve.

Yours,

Michael Moore
mmflint@aol.com
www.michaelmoore.com

PS. George, I know you said you don't read the newspaper, but USA Today has given me credentials to the Republican convention to write a guest column each day next week (Tues.-Fri.). If you don't want to read it, you and I will be in the same building so maybe I could come by and read it to you? Lemme know...

Posted by Caffeine at 10:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Senator John Kerry lashed back at President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney tonight, saying that he would not remain quiet while his patriotism was being questioned by men who had not served in Vietnam and who had ``misled the nation into Iraq.''

For the past week, they attacked my patriotism and my fitness to serve as commander in chief,'' Mr. Kerry said. ``Well, here's my answer. I'm not going to have my commitment to defend this country questioned by those who refused to serve when they could have and by those who have misled the nation into Iraq.

Posted by Caffeine at 10:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I haven't been feeling much like writing lately. I guess I haven't had the time, the energy or the emotions needed to write about what has been going on in my life and in the world. I know that I have a lot of things that I want to say, I just can't seem to put it all into words right now. In my best judgment I should stop writing for while until I can get my thought together, but I still feel the need to express myself. I still want to write about my feelings and thoughts even if they are just thoughts about my thoughts.

Even on my other site I can't seem to find anything worth writing about, giving that the RNC is this week and it gives me great material. I should have a lot to say. I am almost bored with writing about George Bush. I am sick of him altogether and I can't get interested in anything that the normal news has already published because it is so washed with neutralism that I can't bare it.

I think that soon I will be writing an article about education and poverty levels. I think that I will focus more on that stuff now days and not so much on the presidency. It is still important to me, but it is starting to become an obsession that is getting out of hand.

For tonight I think I will go to bed and call it a night. I will work on writing something better in the future.

Posted by Caffeine at 10:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)