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How old am I?

I haven't been writing so much lately, I just haven't had the time or anything worth writing about but I thought I would fill everyone in on what is going on with me these days. It will be very short.

Right now I have a morphine patch on my arm and I took a Percocet. This is how the doctor's are treating my pain right now and maybe for the next few months (6).

The current order of business is to fix my shoulders (bursitis) the left on hurts more then the right but it hurts even when I sleep. They are going to try cortisone injections in the left shoulder first but I have no idea when that will be.

Then they have to do something about my ankle that hasn't healed since March, cortisone injections might help but surgery is also an option. It is just amazing to me how long it has taken. My doctor says that stress and my arthritis are contributing to the length of time that it is taking me to heal, but he too is shocked. The x-rays taken just a week or so ago show that it hasn't healed correctly either, it's slightly twisted. I guess that I was walking on the side of my foot trying not to put pressure on it and it kind of healed that way.

Lastly, my knees need work. The cortisone won't be enough to fix them they need to be re-centered on the joints and have padding put between the kneecap and the joint. I am not looking forward to that. This all is because of a problem that my mother was told about when I was 15 and she was told I needed surgery to fix but I guess she didn't think so. Now 14 years later I have worn away all of the cartilage between my kneecap and the knee joint (and they are pointing outward) and I am in a lot of pain and I have to find some way to fix it all.

I feel so old. I don't think that a 29 year old should feel the way that I do or have to be going to as many damn doctors as I do. Sometimes I just want to stop and say forget it. At the same time I worry that there might be something really wrong and if I don't keep going they won't find out what it is.

It's hard not to feel hopeless though. Especially when you start thinking that the rest of your life will involve medications and doctors. At 29 I should be having fun. I shouldn't be in too much pain to go to the video store let alone out for the night with my friends.

Anyway, That's me right now. I guess I am a little on the self-pitting side of life today. It could just be the drugs though.

Comments

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