Pain
I am in so much pain right now I can’t even lay down to go to bed. I tried but it didn’t work. So, here I am typing away when I would much rather be sleeping. The pain is coming from my left side and my doctor said today that basically I have to wait until they get some tests done to see exactly what the problem is before she can do anything about it. I wish I could convey to her exactly how much pain I am in. This hurts more then having either of my kids, really. At least that didn’t last this long.
She said that I could go back into the hospital if I wanted to get this taken care of faster, and if the pain doesn’t stop soon I might have to. I don’t like to admit that I feel pain, a really don’t. I usually can handle a lot of things but tonight is really bad and I don’t know what to do. I guess I could go back into the hospital again and suffer through that. It would help me quit smoking I guess. And they would probably help me with the pain and give me all of the tests that I need. I just don’t know if I can put my family through all of that again and myself. It was hard being alone all of those days.
It’s not like I am doing any good here though. With the pain getting worse each day, all I can do is sit still and hope I don’t breath too deep or cough or laugh. I can’t bend over or lean to far to the left either.
I want to cry. I don’t know what to do. I know I could call all of my family and ask them what I should do (not right now, it’s too damn late) and they would probably say that I should go back to the hospital again. What should I do? How much longer will I feel like this? If the pain goes away tomorrow it will all be very silly of me to make such a big deal of it. Right now, though I can’t even lay down. I want to so bad. I am so sleepy. But I can’t lay back on the pillows because it hurts too much.
Maybe I shouldn’t be writing when I am on all of these pills. It probably doesn’t make much sense but I will post it anyway because I am pretty sure it is how I am feeling right now.
Comments
Left a comment yesterday but I dn't see it. Hang in.
Posted by: skank | April 7, 2006 07:24 AM