Dad is Gone..
On Wednesday, my father called from a gas station and said that he had nowhere to stay. All of the people he came here looking for were gone and he had nowhere else to go. So, the plan he had to start over with Barb (his ex-girlfriend and crack head) wasn’t going to be possible. It was going to be raining Wednesday night and I was feeling bad that he was going to have to walk around in the rain all night long with nowhere to stay and he needed to eat and drink something but he had no money to do that.
I had to call Jemal at work and ask him to leave early and pick my dad up and bring him to my house. My intentions were to give him some food and drinks so that at least I did something for him instead of leaving him out in the cold. When he arrived, he had nothing, no clothes, no money and no wallet. He had absolutely nothing with him except the shirt and pants he was wearing. So, Jemal found some t-shirts that he was willing to give away and I found a couple of pairs of sweatpants that would fit him and we made him a duffel bag with some things in it, including some smokes and sodas.
We talked to him for a bit and we brought up that Jayson said he could come out to Oklahoma to live with Jay for awhile and that the price of living out there is so much cheaper then Maryland. Dad said he would love to go out there and at least out there he will have somewhere to sleep and possibly a job that Jayson has lined up for him. I made sure that Jemal was okay with it and then I bought him a ticket online for the next morning.
This meant breaking my rule that he could not stay the night here. There was no sense in sending him out in the rain for 6 hours until they had to leave for the bus at 5:30 am. My grandmother was very uncomfortable with him staying the night but it was the best thing I could do.
It was nice to have him here for a short while. He played with the kids a bit (He hadn’t seen them in over 4 years) and of course I took lots of pictures of him and them together because who knows when I will see him next.
Before he left in the morning, he came down and said goodbye, I was mostly asleep but he said thank you and that he appreciated all that Jemal and I have done for him. He took the bag of stuff that we made for him the night before but that was all that he had.
Yesterday I went to Target and for a Father’s Day gift I bought him some clothes and some other things that he needs since he has nothing. I also got him a wallet with a chain so he won’t loose it again. I am going to mail it out today or Saturday and hope that he gets it soon.
He says that he wants to start over. He doesn’t want to drink anymore and he really sounds like he wants to change this time. Hopefully, Jayson won’t drink around him and will try to help dad get all of the things that he needs to get his life together. He is missing his ID, Social Security Card and Birth Certificate. Without those things, it is going to be hard for him to get a job. I can’t really help him with that but Jayson says that he can do it out there.
Having dad go to Oklahoma really makes things better for me. It was worth the money, because in the long run it will save me money on medication and doctor’s visits I think. If he had stayed here I would have just worried about him all of the time and had him coming here all the time for money and help. With him out in Oklahoma, I know that he will have a place to sleep and food to eat. Jayson is also going to take him to social services out there and try to get him his own housing and food stamps.
If dad can stay sober, he can really get on his feet out there with Jayson’s help. That is what I am hoping for. He is 50 years old now and he really needs to try to do something with his life before it’s too late. I won’t mind helping him here and there as long as I know that he is trying to stay sober and get his life together. I am hoping that all goes well and he will do the right thing from now on. I don’t want to think about him going to jail again. I talked to him about it and he says that he is really going to try this time. As much as I don’t want to I have big hopes for him this time, I do.
Comments
I won't pretend to have some great insight to all of this, but I will say that it's simply some stress that you don't need at the moment. You have enough going on that you need to deal with. Take care of yourself first, other things second.
Oh, and love the new design. I've always been a sucker for darker color schemes. :)
Posted by: jerry | June 19, 2006 04:50 PM
Sorry it took me so long to post back but I have been very busy. Thank you for your advice. I am doing my best to let my father destroy his own life but I still hope that one day he will change. I guess I have always been this way. and it is hard to be someone different.
I really like the theme too. It's not one I made though. It comes with Movable Type. I am really liking it though.
Posted by: Caffeine | June 23, 2006 09:24 AM
Bah, making themes for Movable Type or WordPress is basically re-inventing the wheel at this point. There are tons out there, and it's easy enough to tweak them.
Looks great!
Posted by: jerry | June 23, 2006 10:46 AM
Thank you, Maybe I will try ti make my own theme again one day. I had some pretty cool ones in the past, but I really like this one.
Posted by: Caffeine | June 24, 2006 09:06 AM