My Dad is Here
First, last night my brother called me and said that he wanted to tell dad that he should come to Oklahoma instead of coming here to be a problem for me. I thought this was very sweet of my brother because he was thinking about my health and what having dad here will do to me. He suggested that dad could stay with him until he could get a job and on his feet. Jayson said that out there they have trailers for rent at $150 a month including utilities. It would have been a great idea if we had gotten the information to dad before he got the bus ticket but Jayson didn’t call me until last night to tell me and apparently Dad was already here.
Now, my dad has arrived in Baltimore and called me this morning. I had been banking on the fact that he would get arrested again before he was able to get on the bus back home. Instead, he is here and he has nowhere to live again. I don’t want him to start using me to make phone calls and wanting me to let him stay here. I have explain to him all of the reasons that he can’t stay here. I don’t want him to put me in a position that I feel like I have to say yes.
Having him here makes it harder to tell him that I can’t help him. It was easy when he was 800 miles away but with him being able to walk to my door, any day he wants to, makes it very hard to tell him to go away because I can’t handle him.
I know that this might all sound ridiculous if you haven’t read any of my other posts about my father. This is a serious problem for my family, my health and me. My father literally makes me sick. I am worried about him causing me to go back into the hospital again.
I am trying not to let all of my worries get to me too much but it is stressing me out. I am trying to think of ways to get him off my mind, which is why I am writing now. I thought that if I can get out all of my worries I might be able to deal with it easier and I might get some advice from some friends on what I should do.
I don’t know what my main worry is but I know that I don’t want to have a relationship with him if he is still going to drink. I can’t handle the stress that he gives me. He is already asking for rides and wanting me to find phone numbers for him. It kind of makes me feel bad to tell him no but I really can’t do more then what I already have to do for my family. It’s hard enough just trying to do that stuff without the added stress from him.