FreshCaffeine

I came across some links that you might be interested in if you like lost.

The site for the band that Charlie was in Drive Shaft.

Oceanic Airlines site, wait a minute before you close the page and highlight the text that appears.

And a site that doesn't look like it has anything interesting but it is.

And most importantly The Hanso Foundation

There are so many more but these are the ones I will share with you today. If you have any ideas about what some of this stuff might mean share it with the rest of us.

Posted by Kelle at 01:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This Barbie Girl Video was made by my 11 year old daughter! It is so cute and yet scary at the same time.

Posted by Kelle at 07:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Today has been a very stressful one. I have been on the phone most of the day dealing with Doctors and therapist, then there were the contractors (yeah, did I mention we are doing some remodeling?). I thought the day would never come to an end. Now I have some time to relax and all I want to do is go to bed.

Today I talked to my brother and he is having his normal problems and I think he was trying to ask me for money again but he has understood that I can't give it to him anymore. If it was just a few dollars I would say okay but he is in need of $200. That is a little bit more then I am willing to part with right now.

In the conversation with my brother I found out a lot of things, he says that my mother is going to be moving in down the street from him in an apartment. This is bad news for my father who has to hide in the shower every time she comes over now. I don't know why they bothered lying to her because she is going to find out he is there sooner or later.

Some other interesting news I heard today was that my dad and my brother have both quit drinking. I was very happy to hear about that. It wasn't good for either of them and now they are doing so much better. My brother even got on medication for his bi-polar.

I guess after all that has happened today nothing interesting happened at all. I feel so disappointed.

Posted by Kelle at 05:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Today I received a letter from my pain management doctor telling me that he isn't going to treat me anymore because I got medication from my orthopedist after my surgery. They say it some how breaks the agreement I made with them in the beginning of my service, a year ago. There is really nothing I can do about it right now and I am going to have to wait until I get my surgery done to get pain medication again but I feel very depressed by the letter because it automatically assumes that I am a drug addict by literally saying that, then listing addiction counselors at the end of the letter.

I wrote my own letter back and CC: all of my other doctors that the letter went out to, still some how I don't feel any better about the whole thing. I still feel like my doctors are going to look at me and wonder what I am on or if I was shooting up today or something like that.

What do I do in a situation like this? I want to cry and i want to yell at the doctor for doing this. because I got medication for a surgery? This makes no sense and they say I did it 3 times and I didn't, how am I suppose to change their minds?

Now I have to find another Pain Management Doc and the closest one is in the city. I hate going in to the city.I am hoping this will get straightened out soon and I can go back to my doctor. It is right up the street from me and I hate to drive. I know that isn't true, I would never go back there for anything, not after the way the letter was written, maybe sometime soon I will type it out for all of you to read, as for today I am done and I have to lay down and eat the lobster my hubby got me to make me feel better. Isn't he sweet?

Posted by Kelle at 07:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Today is Saturday and I am finally starting to feel better with my new medication. I have been taking methadone with the percocet to help with the pain and I guess it had to build up in my system in order for it to really work. I got sick the first day that I took it but that could have been some left over sickness from trying the morphine (Kadian) again. So, the pills are helping and I am able to move around a lot more. I need my knee to heal fast so I can get my next surgery done sooner.

One problem that I have been having is that my left knee (the one that hasn't had surgery yet) has been getting stiff and painful for the last 5 mornings. I couldn't figure out the cause but last night I left my heater on on all night and it didn't hurt when I woke up. But I was very hot and so was Jemal all night long. I don't think this is going to be the solution to the problem.

I don't get to see my orthopedist until the 25th this month. So I have some time that I am going to have to deal with this. It isn't going to be fun and I don't even know if there is anything he can do about it until I have my surgery in Sept (or around then). Maybe I need to buy a heating pad and put it under my blanket at night. That might work and keep the bedroom from getting too hot at night.

I have been doing aquatic therapy for few weeks now and not only am I strengthening my knee muscles and shoulders but I am losing weight and toning my body at the same time. It's really great. I am down from 189 to 164. I am hoping that by the Holidays I will be down to around 130 or so. I would be so happy to get back to my old weight. It makes me depressed to be so big even though everyone says that I look good now. I don't really believe then or at least they are basing their opinion on the fact that I used to weigh 189 lbs. I am really excited and I can't wait to see what I look like when this is all over.

Also I have been a little nervous this week. Sierra got on a plane a ll by herself and flew out to visit her grand parents and stay for a week. She is more then 1000 miles away from home right now. I know she is in good hands but she is my little girl and I worry about something happening to her while she is so far away. I know in the back of my mind that everything is going to be okay it's just in my nature to worry about things like this.

There is another thing going on and I don't know what is going to happen with it. I got in a big fight with my mother in chat. She is upset that I won't let Sierra go out and visit with her alone. My mother is too insane, broke, scamming people, facing jail time and doesn't even have her own place to live. She was threatening to file for grandparents rights. She is just crazy enough to try to file for visitation but I don't think there is a judge in the world that would give her visitation. I am hoping that I don't need to face her in court because I have some letters she wrote that would defiantly keep her from getting visitation.

Posted by Kelle at 08:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

It works with various weblog systems: Blosxom, Conversant, Manila, Movable Type, Radio UserLand, TypePad, WordPress, and others. It is software for the MAC as far as I can tell. You can change the transparency of the posting window, which is pretty cool, Image and file uploading, View thumbnails of previous uploads, Preview templates, so you can see what a post will look like on your weblog, Spell checking, Add and edit Technorati tags, Sends update notices—“pings” to blo.gs, Technorati, and Weblogs.com (You can add more to the list if you want or just use Ping O Matic to ping blog sharing sites), Supports categories and other options, Supports TypePad/Movable-Type extended, excerpt, keywords, and trackbacks, Supports titles for Blogger weblogs (supports Blogger’s Atom weblog editing API), Customizable warnings before posting, so you don’t accidentally send a post before it’s ready. So it is very feature full. It cost $25 and I think it is worth it, really. It makes posting so much easier.

So, download the trial version and see if you like it as much as I do. I am sure you won't be disappointed.

Posted by Kelle at 09:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I am writing this letter to you and somehow I know that you will find a way to read it. It has been 5 years from tomorrow that it all happened and I don’t know how to forgive you. I try everyday not to think about it, but it will never fade from my mind. It not just what you did to me either, it’s what you did to all of us. I loved you and tried to treat you like the greatest man in the world. I know you had a hard time in life, we all do in our own way but sometimes you just have to think about someone other then yourself. Did you?

Did you think about me when you tied the rope around your neck and jumped off the roof? Did you think about how I would feel looking at your dead body in a cardboard casket? Did you think about all of the years that I will miss you and wish that you were here? Did you think that the world would miss out on such a funny, kind man? Did you think of all the other things you could have done to make this world a better place?

Did you remember playing card games and the time that I beat you at spades? Did you remember playing with matchbox cars on the floor? Did you remember making little cities out of cardboard to play with the cars? Did you remember going camping at Hershey Park and getting on the rides with me? Did you remember babysitting me when I was only 5 years old? Did you remember that I loved you and looked up to you? Did you remember that I didn’t change my opinion of you when I found out you were gay no matter what the rest of the family said? Did you remember that I told you that you were my favorite of all of my family?

Did you know that I would cry for days? Did you know that I would hurt? Did you know what you were about to do would break my little heart? Did you know that I would cry one day while I wrote this message to you? Did you know that nothing would make the pain go away no matter what I do? Did you know that this day would become a reminder to me that you didn’t care enough about me? Did you know how selfish you were going to be?

I wanted you to be my best friend. I wanted you to get to know me better. I wanted you to call me every day. I wanted you to smile every time I saw you. I wanted you to know that I loved you. I wanted you to not die. I wanted you to still be here where I can touch you.

I remember the way you would dangle a cigarette out of your mouth while you painted and then yelled at me for smoking at the same time. I remember your obsessive-compulsive behavior of emptying the ashtray after it was used only once. I remember you getting a little too drunk one night and passing out on the front lawn. I remember you laughing and cheering up a room full of people with just a simple joke. I remember a lot of things about you but I don’t remember you saying good-bye.

In Memory of Paris Kelly Hogan Died July 4, 2001

Posted by Kelle at 05:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Here is something that I know a few of my friends might be interested in. Worst Scratched iPod Contest. Just send in a photo and see if you can get your iPod made scratch free again.

I am also very interested in the ColorEnvy.com's ability to re-color my iPod to match my car. That would be totally awesome. I sent them an email asking them some more details and if they could match it exactly if I sent them the touch up paint and how long it would take to get done. It would make a great Birthday gift (hint, hint).

Posted by Kelle at 09:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)