Taking Control
Today was a big day for me. I went out and drove around town by myself. Jemal was out with the kids, nothing was worth watching on TV and I just had to get out. It wasn't an exciting trip but I turned up my radio and listened to NIN as loud as I could. And I have a great stereo in my car. I even went on the highways at a few points. I started to feel this very free feeling. I didn't feel the terrible tightening in the pit of my stomach that I normally do when I leave the house. I don't know if I will be able to do this again but I am sure going to try. I had a few spots where traffic was heavy and I got a little nervous but otherwise it was a really relaxing trip.
I also dyed my hair really red today, got it cut off this morning, I lost about 6 inches, and bought new outfits, maybe that all had something to do with my wanting to get out. I didn't bother putting on make-up or anything but I looked okay (I think). I am also down to 160 lbs. now. I have lost 20 pounds and a couple of sizes. I haven't changed a thing about the way I eat but I am finally dropping pounds. I think it has a lot to do with all the meds I was on.
I am so excited that the holidays are coming up. I have already started addressing x-mas cards for shipment in November. There is Halloween, Thanksgiving, Sierra's Birthday, Christmas, New Year's, Jared's Birthday, our anniversary and Valentine's Day all in just 4 months. I love this time of year because I get to do a lot of wrapping and writing cards. I also like all of the decorating. With the new pain management doctor I am going to go to hopefully I will be able to do all of the things I have planned in my head to do.
It has been a very stressful week for all of us, so much has happened and needed to be done that we really haven't had much time to sit and do anything fun. I am hoping that when Jemal gets home tonight we can relax and watch a dvd or something. I am sick of everything on TV, but Jemal still enjoys it when he can. It seems like we haven't had any time together quietly without interruptions. We are both hoping for some time together when this is all over. Maybe I can convince him to take a trip with me for a couple of days. I think that would be nice.