7.4.2001
I am having a BBQ party with friends today and I tried my best to get excited. I was fine until my brother showed up unannounced. I had remembered earlier that today was the anniversary. I tried not to think about it. I looked at the ashes and then put them back in my secret box.
Now that they are here, it is the laughter that is getting to me. should I be enjoying my friends today? Should I just act like i forgot today? Should I put on a fake smile and just walk dead through the whole night? I don't want to, but I don't want to tell them there is a problem either.
I guess I will get my happy face and pretend I can laugh with the rest of them, hell maybe it will make itself real before the day is over. I just need to take some time here and there just to remember and then move on. I hope they don't notice what I am doing.
Gotta go my alone time is over. Wipe the tears and get back to the real world.